Here’s an observation.
Facebook is a safe place where you, the user, can be as false and pretentious as you wanna be under the guise of “keeping it real”. It’s not just Facebook it’s the internet as a whole really. But I’m not here to discuss that. I only bring it up because I happened to come across this quote on someone’s facebook page.
“Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who actually cares enough to break them down.”
What the hell is that? Sounds to me like an excuse for some rather eratic behaviour. Now to be fair this quote is rather sexless. That is to say it doesn’t really specify what sex the person who would believe this is. But I did find this on a girl’s facebook page and it is my expierience that females (not all of them mind you but some) tend to have that general attitude, and it is to those people (including men for that matter) I am speaking to.
What the hell is wrong with you?! Where in the grand scheme of things does this make any sense? What ever happened to “the Golden Rule”? You know, Treat others how you wish to be treated. You might as well throw that one out the window if you choose to adopt this attitude. I mean think about it… really think about it. You pretty much go around keeping people at arms length. Persumebly, you act mean towards the people you really like to test them. If they still stick around after all the abuse, well then, they must really like you back.
Call me old fashioned. But when I like someone I try to get to know them. The easiest way to do this is through KINDNESS!! Call me …SANE, but acting like a wounded mountain lion isn’t exactly gonna score you some points. Is it just me or did Disney’s Beauty and the Beast not teach us that acting like an arrogant prick doesn’t help in relationships. Unless… no. No.. you don’t suppose.. I mean that would be ridculous to think… OMG! I think I figured it out. What is romantic above all else? Overcoming obsticles. Even when the obsticle is YOU! That’s where it stops being romantic and starts being pathetic. Seriously, who wants drama that badly?
Another thing that pisses me off about this is that not only does it romanticize this kind of backward thinking, it also implies that you are in the right for having this view and that true friends/love will have to adapt to you. That’s just lazy! First things first. Love is about COMPRIMIZE. No two pwople are exactly alike. The differences should be dealt with through celebration. “We can have dinner at Hooters tonight but only if you take me to see Twilight 7: The search for more money.” Secondly. You gotta work for it! Set aside your issues and try to appeal to the one you want. I’m not saying pretend to be someone else.
I knew a girl once, who was a good friend of mine. She could be a handful at times and get really defensive over little things. She can come off as bitchy sometimes but I knew it was mostly a defense mechanism. I felt like she would bite my head off when I try to help her through a problem and interpret my criticism as an attack on her character. She was also prone to playing head games with fellas she liked. She knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t entierly attracted to that kind of behavior. So one day she took me aside, flashed me a beautiful smile and quite simply stated that she was really interested in me and wanted to see where it would go. I have to admit that gesture was the most romantic thing a girl has ever done for me. Despenced with the head games and got honest.
“But Fillip! To what does your title to this article refer?” you might ask eloquently. Anybody remember this song we used to sing in Sunday School? “Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, and the walls came tumbling down.” In that Bible story Josh was commanding an army and the fight took them to the City of Jericho. God gave him instructions on who to get through. By marching around it 7 times for seven days and saving the army’s battle cry and trumpet blasts for last at just the right moment the giant walls surounding the city fell asunder. The place was practically giftwrapped for them.
If Pat Benatar is right and Love IS a Battlefield, then I guess the best way to get through the “walls” instead of hack away at it with a pickaxe is to wait till the timing is right, It’s a major plus if God is involved, and the person with the issues will be ready to let good in. I think it’s in the big plan to bring these walls down so everyone can feel the love they deserve.