I reciently found out certain truths about someone in my life that dissapointed me to the core of my being. Originally I was planing on writing something light and fun to offset my last rant on the human psyche, but as you might have guessed since I haven’t written anything in a while, this issue is one I better deal with then ignore.
I leaned something about people. A specific kind of people. You see them everyday. They are in magazines, on tv, and thier voice can be heard in forums such as this. I’m talking of course about the epidemic known as: Beautiful Girls.
Now there are two kinds of beautiful girls. My favorite of the two is the rarest of all. The girl that is beautiful but thinks nothing of it. She is aware of her beauty but never uses it for personal gain i.e. scoring free drinks and etc. She’s natural, 100% the way God made her and is thankful for that. Has no need to where make up ALL the time, and has some dignity and integrety. These girls (if you can find them) are the sexiest of God’s creations. Merry them if possible.
The ones I am refering to in this article is the other kind of beautiful girl. The one that is obsessed with her looks. If she isn’t happy with her body she has no problem changing it to meet the demands of todays society, if not with lots of make up and or a makeover then with surgery. This girl seeks attention.
Sometimes I wonder if the only love they are likely to understand is physical due to some unresolved daddy issues. I’ve read somewhere that the majority of pornstars and strippers have a history of sexual abuse. I suppose that means that they can detatch themselves mentally from given situations to get the “job” done.
These girls don’t trust men. They are used to being treated as sex objects by
most guys and therefore have a hard time understanding the concept of mutual respect. If they ever meet a nice guy that is all he will ever be. To them the fear of being cheated on, of being replaced by a younger prettier girl is thier idea of a relationship. Forever defending the bad boy they “love” out of denial or some misguided sense of fairplay. Giving the douchbags second chances and third chances over and over while the nice guy is given no chance at all.
Damaged goods. That’s an apt description. I knew such a girl. She posessed, in my oppinion, a beautiful mind. Soul… really. We had long talks about life and relationships and like true friends we advised eachother on proper dating protocol and the like. Most of all we built eachother up. I knew all of her issues and she knew all of mine. I was determined to be the one guy she knew who wasn’t trying to sleep with her. Besides, she said plainly that I wouldn’t want a relationship with her because she’s screwed up. Someone so blunt and honest seemed like person to have around.
But alas, this friendship is on the rocks. I sensed she was in a danger zone. She knew I sensed it, and like an addict she cut the one person who would stop her from getting her fix, out of her life… for now.
All the good advice she gave me, advice she seems to blatenly ignore now. Can I really believe anything she said. She told me things about myself you wish every woman would know. Was it all a lie? In hind sight I realise a pattern manipulative behavior. This isn’t my firend. She’s not the woman I knew.
Only time we hung out is when she was between relationships. Everytime we were out and I looked like I was chatting up a cute girl she would butt in almost as if to mark her territory, which in turn scared off potentials. Who does that?
I pretended not ot see her today. And she did likewise. I wanna be the friend she needs not the friend she wants. But it’s never that simple. I don’t hate her. I don’t. There will come a time when a chance meeting is unavoidable. I’ll be polite and ask her how everything is going. Either life is good or she’ll lie to me and tell me life is good. Maybe she opens up about her relationship with the new guy. Maybe the only reason she’s talking to me is because the relationship is going south and she needs words of incouragement. Words from someone she knows cares. She waits for an answer. There is a long pause. I’m dumbfounded that I’m in the same possition as I was in earlier with her. Do I fall back into the same roll of supportive friend with a bit of a messiah complex? Do I become a just a pawn in a friendly game of Find Her Identity? Is there a third opption that benifits everyone?
To Be Continued…