Rebuttle: GP on Lotsen

Rebuttle: GP on Lotsen

I was in the local newspaper the other day! Well, sorta. It was a picture of me doin’ my job. I was on a specially designed boat that allows tourists the abillity to sightsee the great city of Gothenburg. We call ourselves Lotsen, a variation on the term Lotsverket which comes from the name given to the service of apointing someone to show ships around the waters (to avoid pirates), and we are an alternative to the mega giants of canal sightseeing in this city Paddan (which directly translated means “the Toad”)
We are RC Cola and they are Coca-Cola in the grand scheme of things. “the Toad” has been around for years, it’s practically in the backbone of the city not to mention the citizens within. Lotsen owners were born in the 80’s and remember a time when everyone shouted the phrase “Cowabunga!” 
Anyway, this article written about the battle for customers is trying to be bias but since the GP logo is spotted on a number of Paddan boats it obvious they are both having sex and it’s not likely one will say bad about the other. 
I’m not one to nit-pick but the article feels like it was written by a highschool student analysing the Justin Beiber/Sean Kingston song. 
I love how the writer starts off by saying how impressive the drivers of the lotsen boats look with thier Naval Captain shirts. Then promptly says “but anyone can buy those, Paddan has piké shirts.” As if no one can by Piké shirt! 
This compitition is fierce too. Lotsen started with the original idea of having Hop on Hop off stations to coinside with the Stinsen train stops. Just a day or two before the Lotsen boat arived factory fresh Paddan put up Hop on Hop off posts at the same locations we had previously wanted!
Then paddan claims it was thier idea entirely. Of course.
They have hired people to sell tickets to the boats to unsuspecting tourists. Which gets weired when have of the people holding tickets waiting to get on our boat have allready paid for our rivals. The average tourist gets mad because they really don’t see the difference. Really? You don’t see the badly drawn frog mascott on thier boat? Now look at us. Slick. Simple. Less is more. 
Another thing the article brought up was that you don’t really learn anything when taking a sightseeing tour but imediately afterwards proceeds in telling the reader all they learned. Huh?
Two years ago was the first time I ever did Paddan. The guide wasn’t anything special the one thing I remeber, besides finding out Hissingen was an island, was this awful joke about the “Fish Church”. Look it up. It’s a real thing. Needless to say I went away thinking I could this job and much better. True to my word. Two years later. I’m the best guide ever! 
Sure, I’m iffy on details here and there but who else limbos under one of the low bridges! In the end your sightseeing expierience will vary from guide to guide. Paddan and Lotsen are very much alike and the differences are subtle at best. But before you spend your money ask yourself, “which one does Fillip work on again?” 

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