Remember that Ronan Keating song? “When you say nothing at all”, It’s a cute song. If you know someone well enough you know what they are thinking and no words need be exchanged. But one thing I’ve noticed is that there is a flipside to that lubby dubby crap. What about people you don’t know well. How does one interpret the silence? What if you know the person but find that what they say isn’t true.
When working in a group, communication is very important. If the group is going to be productive, moral is important. If the vibe in the group is bad then productivity is threatened. For example: Say someone in the group is behaving poorly. It’s clear that everyone else on the team is getting frustrated but no one openly says anything. No one tackles the problem and so the issue continues to devour the efforts of eveyone involved. It’s in moments like that something needs to be said.
In school we learned how to deal with that sort of situation by presenting the person with how you personally feel about it and allowing for there to be an open dialog. That way you allow for both you and the second party to take responsability.
I went for a walk with a “friend” and I can’t remember what we were talking about, suddenly I got this feeling she was trying to convince me that she was sooooo compassionate, and had an amazing capacity for love. My natural reaction was, “Yeah, well, we’ll see.” Why did she need to perpatuate that she was such a loving person. Loving people don’t need to do that, they just love people. I told her that actions speak louder then words and it was like she got mad at me for not understanding how immensely loving she so totally is. I guess that’s a case where the Unsaid smelling better then bullsh*t. (By the way that person has not to this day shown me all the “love” she is capable of and that was like the last time we hung out.)
In the end somethings that simply are, need not be said. Somethings however need to be addressed. If someone owes you money and unfairly pays you only half the amount you agreed upon. You better grow a pair and confront the problem. If you are that person that owes money and are afraid of letting the other person down. Ignoring it wont make it all go away. Be upfront. Put all your cards on the table, that way you can live life without regrets.
Less ye suffer the CURSE OF THE UNSAID!!! OOooooOOoohh!